Some funnies for today

Eco-friendly, self flushing, self cleaning, combined lavatories and bidets for sale. Buyer collects.

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That reminds me of the public toilets in France 50yrs ago. Just a hole that you stood astride.

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Plenty of them about as norm…men and women often share the same as well…yuk



What is the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

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joke merlin bros merlot

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joke maid and dirty olde man

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Can I have four tins please! :innocent: :innocent:

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No but you can have fork handles

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4 Candles are more of use… like when the power goes off…forks need knives don’t they? :slightly_smiling_face:


He is smart. :sweat_smile:

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He does’nt believe in Capital Punishment! :face_exhaling: :face_with_open_eyes_and_hand_over_mouth:

A dentist goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Bugatti Chiron
It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $1.5M. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light.

An old man on a moped, looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to him.

The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, “What kind of car ya got there, sonny?”

The dentist replies, “A Bugatti Chiron. It cost one and a half a million dollars!”

“That’s a lot of money,” says the old man. “Why does it cost so much?”

“Because this car can do up to 250 miles an hour!” states the dentist proudly.

The moped driver asks, “Mind if I take a look inside?”

“No problem,” replies the dentist.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around.

Then, sitting back on his moped, the old man says, “That’s a pretty nice car, all right, but I’ll stick with my moped!”

Just then the light changes, so the dentist decides to show the old man just what his car can do.

He floors it, and within 30 seconds, the speedometer reads 150 mph.

Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror – what it could be…and suddenly…


Something whips by him going much faster!

“What on earth could be going faster than my Bugatti?” the dentist asks himself.

He floors the accelerator and takes the Bugatti up to 175 mph.

Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it’s the old man on the moped!

Amazed that the moped could pass his Bugatti, he gives it more gas and passes the moped at 210 mph.


He’s feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN!

Astounded by the speed of his old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Bugatti all the way up to 250 mph.

Not ten seconds later, he sees the moped bearing down on him again!

The Bugatti is flat out, and there’s nothing he can do!

Suddenly, the moped plows into the back of his Bugatti, demolishing the rear end.

The dentist stops and jumps out and , unbelievably, the old man is still alive.

He runs up to the mangled old man and says, “Oh my gosh! Is there anything I can do for you?”

The old man whispers, “Unhook my Braces from your side mirror.

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Prison food.

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