There was a young man who’s a punk
And he kept all his pets in a trunk
So how did this start :?
Well, attracted to his farts
Was a nice troupe of love struck blind skunks
Useless expressions
It’s time to chuck obsolete expressions
Starting off with -it’s out of the question
What does it mean, I just don’t know
So, out of the question is first to go.
Then how about one I really deplore
This place is so clean, you can eat off the floor
Why would you do that, I just cant see
So this is the second one to chuck in the sea
This brings me on the frying of eggs
On paths so hot it’d burn your arms and legs
It ranks as a pointless thing to do
But I’ll leave this one in, don’t want to upset you.
Lastly the silliest of all and one I cant stand
“Why it’s as familiar as the back of my hand”
I don’t think I ‘d recognise mine mixed up in a pile
No not even if I was given quite a while
A Monologue
I just cant remember
Just cant remember what I came in here for
went back to where I was before coming in here
Had to pass the fridge
That was a mistake
stopped for a look in
light came on and I remembered
now I am in the loo and have forgotten again
Its warm in the loo
Must have dropped off to sleep
My legs have gone dead.
Stuck on the loo
Cant move
Legs have gone from swollen and red to swollen and dead
Could be worse
I can reach the tap
So I wont die of thirst
Before someone finds me in a weeks time
No problems struggling up the stairs to the loo
Already on it
Might starve
No, I can see some food in a gap in the floorboards
Must have fallen there last time I had a bath
Cheese and pickle sandwich maybe
Lovely with a pint
No I tell a lie,
Its egg and cress
How can that be I don’t like egg and cress
Oh its green, mould
Must be from last month
Wonder if it will scrape off
Wish I had my camera
Could do time elapse of mould growing
Put it on You tube
Good thing you tube
Founders made a mint
I remember the wall of death at fairgrounds
They don’t do it any more
I expect sitting on those motor bikes
For hours made their legs numb
Just like mine
Brilliant Robert… ‘Grandad’ could easily be about my hubby! 
Love 'em Robert - what a talent you are…
I had a vivid day dream. I saw what I took to be JACOBS ladder stretching up out of sight, but there was no one on it, Tradtionally there are angels continuosly going up & down.
Someone older & wiser than me explained this by saying humans can’t see angels…hmmmmm.
I took it to mean that I should keep my eye on the ball, it’s later than we first thought.
Now, to turn this into a poem
be back later.
The grandad one is lovely 
BODY LANGUAGE
Have you noticed other’s tell-tale signs
The way they amble, run or walk
By studying them-- reading twixt the lines
you’ve nailed them before they talk
A stroke of the nose
Done without care
And you can rightly suppose
The truths not there
A tweak of the ear
Can only mean one thing
They don’t believe what they hear
Yon alarm bells will ring
If arms become crossed
its only because
They feel insecure
All the while you are there
Hands in their pockets
Then they’re too nonchalant
No way have they got it
And unlikely to advance
A bout of yawning
is a kind of warning
That they are now distressed
And not in need of rest
I hope this has been useful
I have tried to be truthful
I have done my best
Now try to work out the rest
I hate cabbage
That bugs have ravaged
Its dark and horrible
Its not possible
To eat unless boiled
It’s wee soiled
From countless
Creepy crawlies
Can’t someone make
It taste like cake
Then I’m sure
It’d be eaten more
Like Marie Antoinette
Of the regal set
She said let them eat cake
Till their belly’s ached
that’s all I have to say
So please ban cabbage today
I hate wasps,
What are they for?
In hot weather
They come indoors
They have no good points
And are spiteful things
They come straight for you
To deliver their stings
In this country
We have twenty sorts
In my opinion
that’s nineteen more than we ought.
We have nests in our roof
It makes me afraid
They’re just biding their time
Until they’re ready to rave.
Forty five quid it cost last time
To get rid of these wasps of mine
What good do they do, I asked the man
Well you called me out in my little van
So now you know
From the horses mouth
It gives a nice job
To this man in the south.
Dont like wasps, bees or any little critters…ugh :!: Blah :!:
Loved the Body Language, Cabbage and Wasp ones Robert - excellent!
Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance.
-Carl Sandburg
WAYNE & an ASBO.
[CENTER]An ASBO given to Wayne’s dad
Had the response, It won’t bother me,
Doesn’t matter to me just how bad
He becomes, and this why you see.
I was only there at conception
His mother had the children by three
Other partners, so Wayne is no reflection
I never knew him, so it can’t be me
At fault in this mixed up game.
For I am a father of others too
So don’t give me the blame
I am sure not perfect are you?
An ASBO given to Wayne’s dad
Didn’t help anyone, for he’d have to be
A paid up. Member of the community
In fact he is already locked up
By someone who threw away the key![/CENTER]
[FONT=“Century Gothic”]In the far off days of Aristotle
Plebs had a way to let off bottle
With plays cathartic in their scope
Today they masquerade as SOAPS
[/FONT]
But what do I know?
It’s all GREEK to me
Oh we do have a larf on here,
Especially when Robert is near…
He’s a wit and a poet - and in case you dont know it…
He’ll fill up yer glass with good cheer…
When did it begin ?
The death of our way of living
The alien buildings,
So unforgiving
the enemy within
When did it begin ?
The death of our high streets
Now empty arcades
Where we used to meet
Before the enemy within
When did it begin ?
The death of our factories
Nowhere to be seen
Consigned to history
By the enemy within
When did it begin ?
The lottery on healthcare
Bugs and super bugs
Finally the cupboards bare
Taken by the enemy within
When will it end ?
It’s too late to stop it
The end has come and gone
But no one noticed
They were looking
the other way and didn’t notice
The enemy within.
I can certainly relate to “When did it begin ?” Robert … so true 
I have posted this before but I think it’s relevant at the moment with a flood of economic and other imigrants due & at the same time benefits to the indigenous population being savaged.
THings are changing in many ways & the law of unplanned outcomes will come into play.
This law is that when an event takes place, whether planned or unplanned there is always one or more unexpected outcomes or effects.
For example introduced species of flora & fauna nearly always cause a bigger problem in the end than the original problem .
Wait & see what our parliamentary masters have unleashed…
I, too, can relate to ‘When Did It Begin’ - very good Robert. I also agree with your posting about it.