Nothing wrong with weird! Better than being boring.
A well groomed beard is preferable to a bare chin, it doesnât have to be dirty, Iâm sure chaps on here look after theirsâ properly.
Thatâs because I havenât put any on. :-p
Simply win the lottery and your woes will be over. :-p:-p
Fear not Queenie & Tess, itâd probably clean up alright with me hosepipe and yard broom.
I assume you mean that plenty of blonde females, and those of other hair colour, would be attracted by the winnings?
Iâve had one of those who ripped me off, one is enough thanks. Money cannot buy real friendships anyway, those types of friendship are not easy to find, other types are probably ten a penny! 
Nit comb?
Donât believe a word she says LQ sheâs always making stuff up.
My beard is always kept neat and tidy (No 3 on my beard trimmer). Not long enough for Tessaâs tastes, she like the Brian Blessed rhododendron type of beard 
Big or small, I like them all
What, even these?
Oh gawd I wonât sleep tonight now!
Whereâs the laudenum?
Itâs in the medicine cupboard, shall I get it for you?
No need! I had a fit of the vapours and swooned.
Hope you are over it alright now, I havenât heard that expression for years and years!
Possibly because you donât know many neo-Victorian Steampunks
I can honestly say I donât and havenât ever known any, it sounds rather painful to me!
All down but nine.
That makes two of us.
Paco Rabanne has always been special. I particularly liked XS, although itâs a bit dated now. These days if I wear perfume itâs Wonderlust by Michael Kors, but they do some pretty nice aftershaves too.
A beard is:
Face fuzz if your very young.
Artistic if youâre highly strung
Noble if youâre nautical.
Snooty if youâre haughtical
Dirty if you wear long hair
Essential if you go round bare
And astounding if youâre 3 years old!