Hello all, I’m Dan, and I’m new to this, it would be great to chat with you all. I’m pretty open minded and play horrible golf, and horrible guitar!
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Hi Dan
I play horrible golf and horrible guitar too … I also bake horribly.
Welcome aboard, sounds like you’ll fit in a treat.
Hi Dan the man ! Welcome to the forum. I’m the grumpy old Scotsman but now I live in England. You are builder - my field was electrical in the industrial sector.
to really make you feel welcome a couple of stories for you
Great news for golfers isn’t It? there is a trend to make the "green " holes square instead of round. this enables golf ball makers to make square gold balls without little dimples in them, which is very.
expensive to make
Another advantage it has been proved that square gold “balls” land more or less where they hit the ground and not rolll far away from the intended spot should be. At the moment golf clubs are in the process of being made especially for square golf “balls” .
chap out on the golfcourse asked a lady which tee he was on. She replied he was on the 6th tee one hole behind her she was on the 7th.
On the way back to the club house he again asked her which tee he was on. She replied he was on the 12th one behind her she was on the 13th.
Eventually they met in the club house and thanking her he bought her a drink. Chatting away he asked what she did for a living. she said she sold womens hygiene products, Well the guy just curled up laughing so much he had to sit down.
The lady was not only shocked but annoyed and asked what he found funny. He sold toilet rolls and was still one hole behind her
Three guys half way through a round of golf stood chatting beside the road that went alongside the course
Just at that moment a hearse passed by with people following. So one of them took off his cap and bowed his head in respect. Afterwards the others commented about the respect he showed. He replied " Well I have to as that was my wife in the coffin"
Not like the guy who stood at the first tee watching other play off. When asked way he was not playing he replied that he kept loosing golf balls.
The person he was talking to said “he should to get himself a golf ball like this. If I hit it in the rough it emits a sound so I can find it. If I hit it in the long grass a little flag pops up and starts waving. If I hit it right into the woods both the flag and the sound gets louder.”
“great” he said" where can I get a ball like that"
The other replied " I have no idea I found this one"
hi Dan welcome to the 'orrible group, matron tucks us in about 9pm
Hello and welcome Dan 
Welcome to the club.
Hello. I’m new here as well! See you around.
Hello Dan, don’t get desperate too soon 
He might find the who likes pies thread interesting?
Welcome Dan