haha Todg, love the intro, made me chuckle.
I’m waving at you from Yorkshire 
Welcome 
I’m waving back!
Rotten weather down here today. Cold wet and windy.
Hello Rog 
welcome…
Okay Todger you’ve got my attention and it would be excellent to hear more of your exciting take on life…You’re just the sort of person we’ve been looking for, and complete with Snot…Er I mean a cat…We like cats on here… I look forward to reading you…
Good afternoon Roger matey and welcome.
Thanks!
When it comes to posting again, count on it!
A little more about me.
Right now I’m housebound after experiencing a stroke November last year.
I won’t say suffering a stroke because She Who Must Be Obeyed is looking after me better that anyone could expect let alone very much better than I deserve!
We’ve been married since June 1976. Even after 40 odd years we both remember our wedding as clear as if it was yesterday.
Er’ indoors says she wishes our wedding day was to be tomorrow because if so she wouldn’t go!
Ah yes, Snot.
We’ve never had a cat other than by accident.
Like all those who went before Snot arrived by chance at our door or rather window one horrid stormy day two years ago.
We live on the outskirts of our village abutting a national park and so all sorts of wildlife appear from time to time including the odd feral cat. There’s not many of them though, foxes seem to predate on them.
So there it was, hissing down with rain, windy, and cold. A bit like it is today and out of the blue this little black and white bundle looking for all the world like a drowned rat at our window howling.
Well whatyagointodo?
My wife had gone to the local (shop) and so I opened the door into the laundry room and in it shot. A bit of cold chicken and a saucer of cream — just to keep it going you understand
At this point SHE came home and the first words that came out of her mouth were “Right, that’s not going to stay”.
Hence “Snot” as in “that’s not”.
It’s still an outdoor cat but there’s a cat flap in case it wants to not be an outdoor cat which is increasingly more frequent as it ages and the memshab softens.
Welcome to the forum, it is friendly, small but big enough to offer something for everyone.
its been snowing 'ere today!!! Suns art nar tho, hope you understand me accent? 
Nowt wrong wi it, I can understand it. 
Welcome to OFF Todger. 
This threads a real treat after the others I’ve been reading this morning
It reminds me why I washed up here in the first place
Todge welcome! I love your long suffering wife’s comment about if the wedding were tomorrow, tell her I agree, we’ll bunk off for the day together! :-D:-D
I’ve got some washing up to do if you’re volunteering?
morning neighbour oh, a mean afternoin
lots of women dream of the same thing. 
Hi Todger and a warm welcome to the OFF…hope We hear a lot more from You around the Forum
Hiya Todg and welcome to the forum.
Hello Rog from another ‘newbie’, I like the sense of humour
Hello Todger - welcome to the forum and I hope you enjoy being here. It’s snowing up here today in Derbyshire. Brrrr.
HIya Todger, welcome and thank you for putting a smile on my face today
Its snowy and cold here in North Antrim as well, but the fires lit, the roast chicken is cooked, and a pile of ironing has been done so all is good
We have two cats, Arthur who is coming 3, and is a rescue. He’s a very distinguished young man, looks down on us all the time and rarely is ever comes over for a cuddle
Timmy is just 6 months and has just been gender neutralised this week 
He’s an unholy terror causing mayhem whenever he’s awake but is also a big cuddle monster