Cos of rain, gardening postponed
Missed a call and wondering who phoned
Could be a friend
Cos of rain, gardening postponed
Missed a call and wondering who phoned
Could be a friend
Wants to go out weekend
Cos of rain, gardening postponed
Missed a call and wondering who phoned
Could be a friend
Wants to go out weekend
To buy some drugs and get stoned.
'Ave just bowt missen a new closet seat
'Ave just bowt missen a new closet seat
One of those ones that make some heat
'Ave just bowt missen a new closet seat
One of those ones that make some heat
With a self closing lid
Ave just bowt missen a new closet seat
One of those ones that make some heat
With a self closing lid
Well, I never did
Ave just bowt missen a new closet seat
One of those ones that make some heat
With a self closing lid
Well, I never did
Ooh, Judsy’s gone all up beat! 
While out with my dogs this morn
While out with my dogs this morn
I heard the hoot of a horn!
While out with my dogs this morn
I heard the hoot of a horn!
I turned round to see
While out with my dogs this morn
I heard the hoot of a horn!
I turned round to see
A car following me
While out with my dogs this morn
I heard the hoot of a horn!
I turned round to see
A car following me
A yellow vest I should have worn
Two workmen were digging a ditch
Two workmen were digging a ditch
One was tall, the other a titch
Two workmen were digging a ditch
One was tall, the other a titch
But Titch fell down the hole
Two workmen were digging a ditch
One was tall, the other a titch
But Titch fell down the hole
And found a nugget of gold
Two workmen were digging a ditch
One was tall, the other a titch
But Titch fell down the hole
And found a nugget of gold
And now he’s big cos he is rich!
A lady, who lives in my town
A lady, who lives in my town
Was feeling a little bit down
A lady, who lives in my town
Was feeling a little bit down
So she took herself out
A lady, who lives in my town
Was feeling a little bit down
So she took herself out
Bumped into a lout
A lady, who lives in my town
Was feeling a little bit down
So she took herself out
Bumped into a lout
Who mugged her for half a crown