I have always been a very confident achiever. If a job is worth doing, then I always give the task in hand all of my attention so the end result will be to the absolute maximum of my ability. Anything less will not be good enough for me. Have I ever been picked up for giving 100%? Only by my careers office when employed and each time it reinforced my aims to achieve even more.
In job interviews at our place now, candidates have to do competency based interviews and the point of them is to brag and big up what they can do and how theyâve done it
Then, as interviewer, you mark them on the boxes theyâve ticked.
Some people are really good at it and make themselves sound like Godâs gift, itâs like listening to those candidates on The Apprentice 
And you have to push a bit to find out if itâs true or flim-flam
Older people, not used to having to promote themselves often find it harder and you have to dig a bit to get them going
So, is pushing yourself forward in an interview, and being over confident, boasting?
I suppose it depends if youâve got qualities good enough to be over confident about, really.
Is being over confident, the same as being big headed?
Maybe it depends on a persons definition of âoverâ confidence or how itâs presented?
Personally, I appreciate basic confidence To me, âoverâ confidence means you have stepped over the line into the arrogance side, which can be somewhat off putting in my opinionâŠâŠâŠ howeverâŠâŠ and this is where my confusion comes in, what about pride?
Doesnât a man/woman with no pride, have no value?
Yet in most religions, pride isnât encouraged. Itâs considered self absorbent or thinking too highly of self.
Should we have some kind of arrogance meter?
Maybe a flashing red light or some type of annoying beep that goes off once that line is crossed?
OR do arrogant people toot their own horn so much that itâs not needed? 
Maybe itâs the fact that Iâve read so many self help books that makes pride such a valuable asset. Most self help books teach that pride is a necessary thing to have in order to have healthy self esteem.
Should we not feel proud of our accomplishments? Should we not have home ownership pride or pride in our appearance?
Yes, but not overly so?
So how much is too much pride?
I honestly donât know?
Personally I love seeing people showing off their artwork, their woodworking, their gardens or their home? It leaves me with the impression that the person is happily invested in things that bring them happiness? It shows that they care. It shows that they have passion and interest. Maybe even shows a zest for life? To me, thatâs attractive.
Perhaps that line of over indulgence is different for us all? It is, after all, a tolerance level?
How tolerant are you of others expressing their passions confidently?
Is it that clear cut?
3 Likes
This is strange?
Iâve just posted and it not only double posted but one of my posts looks like Maree posted it.
Something strange is happening here.
My post ended up under someone elseâs name.
How did that happen?
It looks like it fixed itself over here, BrattiâŠno double posting, and it has your name on it. Is it still showing they way you described it with you?
1 Like
@susan_mâs reply reminded me of an incident where my apparent over-confidence nearly lost me a job offer.
I had applied for a position at a place where I had previously worked for ten years. Iâd been away from there for 5 years, and in that time all the âpowers that beâ had changed. (This was because it was a charity and elected a new executive committee every year from the membership.)
I was offered the job, but discovered later, from a colleague (who was on the interview panel) with whom Iâd worked in my previous stint there, that one of the exec members was absolutely adamant I should not get the job. She interpreted my confidence as cockiness, thinking I was a âknow allâ who wouldnât be good at taking orders. My confidence was merely because I knew the place so well, and I was so very relaxed at the interview.
Some weeks after I started there, this particular member of the interview panel said to me one day âYou might not believe this, but I was dead set against offering you this job.â (She didnât know that I already knew this from my colleague!). Turned out that I reminded her very much of a friend of her motherâs, who was very bossy and thought nothing of telling her off or giving her instruction even in front of her own mother! We actually became very firm friends, and I was eternally grateful to my colleague for talking her round!
2 Likes
I think one of the main purposes of developing the oyster card and subsequent tap on, tap off payment system was to help Londoners to avoid having to speak to someone selling tickets. One less human interaction a day keeps bonhommie a bit more away.
1 Like
Oh indeed, what a blessing that was! 
But what bonhomie? Have you ever spoken to a London ticket seller 
1 Like
When I was much younger and my nearest tube station didnât even have the decency to have a self service ticket machine. Recognition sometimes led to a brief exchange of pleasantries including alien words such as please and thank you. Luckily we donât have to use them anymore as we can just now swear at a machine when it goes wrong.
1 Like
Travelling back from the airport we took a National express ( booked and paid for online )
Arriving at the central bus station the bus was late there were a few national express employees around and they seemed to answer questions grudgingly and with no attempt at pleasantness . When I asked if there was an office I could go to for queries one said we used to have an office but they shut it down .
Everything was done via switchboards and machines baring the corralling of passengers onto the buses .
1 Like
Sorry about the slight deviation but on the subject of old tube tickets do you remember the little cardboard return ones which you had to tear in half and hand a torn bit to someone standing at a kiosk on the way out of a sometimes turnstiled station? Sometimes the ticket collected even bothered to check the validity of the tickets handed to him or her.
1 Like
Was that Victoria coach station by any chance? Thereâs a special warehouse somewhere that breeds people whose destiny is to work there.
Itâs called the Central bus station now and is right next to Terminal 2 .
Heavens only knows how people from other countries negotiate it .
1 Like
I didnât understand the term bonhomie so looked it up and here is the sentence it was used in.
Quote :The two friends share a joke and their bonhomie is touching. He did his best under difficult circumstances, but remained a tense, suspicious figure whose occasional attempts at cheery bonhomie always struck a false note with us. A national security conference in Canada brings out the bonhomie among U.S. senators. Unquote.
Haha.
Sorry for the derail.
Just consider it intermission. 
1 Like
Itâs being over confident that the thing, isnât it?
People who are obviously completely confident and comfortable in their own abilities or status and have nothing to prove donât come over as boastful
Itâs people who arenât so sure theyâre any good who to try to big themselves up to impress, and they do come over as boastful
Just like The Apprentice candidates!
How can anyone be âoverâ confident? The person either knows the subject /what is required, or they donât.
1 Like
Yerbut a lot of people think they know it all and get overconfident of their own abilities, and start bragging when really theyâve got a lot to learn
Especially in creative stuff and practical things I always find the brilliant ones tend to be the most humble cos they can afford just to be quietly confident and take pride in what they do without having to boast
I never boast, which is very unusual in people as talented as I am. 
3 Likes
Depends on what youâre claiming to be talented in. Forum posts?
Iâm too modest to say, and no one would believe me if I did.