I remember my dad saying this about a mean old relative. I don’t know why he doesn’t spend his money, after all there are no pockets in shrouds.
I’ll go to the foot of our stairs
Old age is not for sissies. – Malcolm Forbes
My Dad used to say that as well mesco so it may be a Manchester saying, another he said was" I’ll go to the back of our Teds Mothers" A Midland expression he said.
‘As dead as a doornail’
‘More life in a tramp’s vest’
From the back she looks like two ferrets in a bag.(my husband)
Talking about my missus again?
“I’m at the end of my tether”.
I’m at the end of my rope
You will be with a remark like that Jem. lol
Better to have loved a little man than to have never loved at all ‘Max Miller’
As much use as a chocolate teapot (or fireguard)
Nutty as a fruitcake
Give him enough rope and he’ll hang himself.
Why do some people yell “Bite me!” when arguing? Makes me want to find a dog to fulfill the request.
Everything in moderation, including moderation.
Must admit Annie, I have never heard that one before, maybe a regional saying? 
Bang to rights
Empty vessels make most noise
An American way of saying kiss my ars*e, or as we would say bite my bum.
Little pigs have got big ears.
Happy as a clam