Jem. The London type ‘Black cabs’ passenger part were easy to clean out.
Rubber floor mats, leather seats that can easily be removed for cleaning.
This was done almost on a daily basis. So smells did not last long.
Why does hair not stop growing during Wintertime like grass does, then start up again in the Spring? One could save quite a few shillings on haircuts and razors if it did.
Well,I can finally feel superior to all those who laughed…
I told my schoolmates I intended to discover the secret of invisibility.
They laughed…ohhhh,how they laughed…
…if only they could see me now,eh?
Good one Pug.
Sorry old chum but I discovered the invisibility formula ages ago, I have it all on this DVD disc.
http://i736.photobucket.com/albums/xx4/jemflux/201-300x245.jpg
It is no big deal to be able to make oneself and other items invisible.
In fact it is possible to do the same and disappear at the same time.
It’s a secret that I cannot reveal. But it is quite simple once you know how.
This was one of my favourite songs when it came out, sentimental old fool that I am, I just heard it on the radio today after many years and I remember hearing it in the digs when I was away from the wife and kids on a job.
He has such a nice way of expressing his feelings. TV hasn’t changed much, it still sends people fast asleep. Wonder did they ever get back together.
Speaking of, they fell out in the bedroom this morning, but they are back together again… the two cheeks of me backside! gazzoom bang bang! (blame me granny for that 1890’s joke)
Home thoughts from abroad.
I could be a millionaire if I had the money
I could own a mansion, no I don’t think I’d like that
But I might write a song that makes you laugh, now that would be funny
And you could tell your friends in England you’d like that
But now I’ve chosen aeroplanes and boats to come between us
And a line or two on paper wouldn’t go amiss
How is Worcestershire? Is it still the same between us?
Do you still use television to send you fast asleep?
Can you last another week?
Does the cistern still leak?
Or have you found a man to mend it?
Oh, and by the way, how’s your broken heart?
Is that mended too? I miss you
I miss you, I really do.
I’ve been reading Browning, Keats and William Wordsworth
And they all seem to be saying the same thing for me
Well I like the words they use, and I like the way they use them
You know, Home Thoughts From Abroad is such a beautiful poem
And I know how Robert Browning must have felt ’
Cause I’m feeling the same way about you
Wondering what you’re doing and if you need some help
Do I still occupy your mind?
Am I being so unkind?
Do you find it very lonely, or have you found someone to laugh with?
Oh, and by the way, are you laughing now?
'Cause I’m not, I miss you
I miss you, I really do.
I really do.
By Clifford T. Ward.
I heard this joke in the pub at lunchtime, when the punchline came I laughed but after a few minutes I wasn’t sure why I laughed, it just doesn’t make sense.
It goes something like this.
Two chaps are playing golf and one of them takes out a golf ball from his pocket and says to the other chap “Harry, do you see this ball I hold in my hand, well this an un-lose-able golf ball, if it lands deep into the sand a small cork-screw springs out and rotates taking it to the surface so you can see it. If it drops into the lake fins emerge and it swims to the bank. If it gets caught in a tree or bush two wings appear and it flies to the ground, a little marvel ain’t it?” “It sure is Richard, where did you get it?”
“I found it”
I see what you mean.
You have to think about it.
Can anyone explain this simple question?
A man in a film I was watching was explaining where his friend went to another man “He got on a train and headed due West” Surely heading West is heading West, East is East and West is West everyone knows that, where does the ‘Due’ come into it?
The cardinal compass point of 270 degrees due west.
Or in other words, going in a straight line to the west.
Thanks for that info Emjay, that’s another one out of the way.
I’m feeling a bit shivery tonight, hope I’m not coming down with something.
I remember once when I had a drumming in me ears, catarrh, and thrombosis all at the same time, I started a jazz session and I felt great afterwards.
SSE could be Dueish.
As opposed to approximately West I suppose.
No. It would be Due SSE.
It means he went Thataway…simples. .
[quote=“solo, post: 735196”]
It means he went Thataway…simples. .;-
You only go thataway when your on a horse Solo, this fella was on the train.
You have to be very careful what you say nowadays, folks are becoming more sensitive by the day, innocent remarks can get one into trouble, it’s a minefield for us old lads out there. for example the word ‘due’ is pronounced ‘jew’ in Dublin as opposed to ‘do’ in the USA.
I was waiting at a bus stop in an area of town I didn’t know too well, I said to the chap standing beside me “What time is the next bus due?” “I don’t know you catholic bastard” 
The PC gang are painting themselves into a corner, mark my works the result will be total confusion. Why is it that a man from Italy is called an Italian and a man from England is called an Englishman? why is the Italian not called an Italyman and a Russian a Russiaman? Then I could be an Irishian and a Frenchman a Frenchian, when you have the ‘ian’ at the end it also covers the female of that country, in fact it covers the whole family “She is an Italian” “They are an Italian family” Thank God I won’t be around when the whole bloody lot comes crashing down and we have to start all over again, probably Pol Pot style.
With a very seductive voice the woman asked her husband, “Have you
ever seen Twenty Dollars all crumpled up?”
"No," said her husband.
She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 buttons of her
blouse, and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft,
silky push-up bra, and pulled out a crumpled Twenty Dollar bill.
He took the crumpled Twenty Dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly.
She then asked him, “Have you ever seen Fifty Dollars all crumpled up?”
“Uh… no, I haven’t,” he said, with an anxious tone in his voice.
She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and
seductively reached into her tight, sheer, panties… and pulled out a
crumpled Fifty Dollar bill.
He took the crumpled Fifty Dollar bill, and started breathing a little
quicker with anticipation.
“Now,” she said, “have you ever seen $40,000 dollars all crumpled up?”
“No way!” he said, while obviously becoming even more aroused and
excited, to which she replied:
“Go look in the garage.”
Excellent. Thanks for that.
I have a ‘Fragri lar’ that blooms occasionally.